


Bottle

by HaleyBuckley



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020), Tarlos
Genre: Drug Addiction, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Relapse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22954654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleyBuckley/pseuds/HaleyBuckley
Summary: Speculations for 1x08TK gets overwhelmed by guilt and relapses?!
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, TK Strand and Carlos Reyes, Tarlos - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 146





	Bottle

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for addiction, relapse and disturbing thoughts (stay safe kiddos!)

The loud bang. Adrenalin rushing into his head. The screeching noise in his ears. The kid falling onto the floor in front of him. Blood so much blood.

TK squeezes his eyes shut, willing to make those images disappear from his mind. He slowly opens them again. It’s dark outside and he’s been sitting on his couch for who knows how long.

They were on a call this morning. Heart attack simple case, get in, get the person to hospital. He didn’t expect to look into the barrel of a gun when they had opened the door. On the other side of the gun a little kid, scared to the bones and then pulling the trigger. TK couldn’t even scream. The Bullet hitting the Battering ram in his hands. It gets ripped out of his hand, the bullet flying backwards to it’s shooter. It hits the kid in his side and he immediately falls to the floor. His ears are still ringing and his hands shaking. He wasn’t hit but the kid was bleeding out on the floor. There was movement and his team yelling out for him. They rushed over to the kid, trying to save him. They got the boy to the hospital in time and he survived. Barely. The whole time TK’s hands were shaking and he felt sick. After the call he went for a quick shower, rushing home, ignoring the worried faces off his father and teammates.

He looks at the clock. 1 am. He can’t sleep, the horrible images in his head. His hands are still shaking and he can’t get his breathing right.

It’s his fault the kid got hurt. And then he was too shocked to even help him. It was his fault. It’s him, he’s the screw up.

He squeezes his eyes shut and hits his hands against his head. Maybe if he was hurting too he could be forgiven. TK knows where this is going and he hates himself even more. He opens his eyes and looks at his necklace. The firefighter emblem flashing at him. Mocking him. His job is to protect people, not to hurt them.

He shoots up from the couch and walsk over to his dad’s bedroom. He knows he must have his painkillers somewhere in his room. The strong one. His father takes them after he had a chemo session. He doesn’t know where he hides them because his father doesn’t want him to be tempted. He doesn’t want to lock it away though because he trusts his son and knows he’s strong. Another failure then, he thinks. He’s feeling weak and he’s hurting and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. Those feelings. He goes through his dad’s drawers and closet but he can’t find anything. Then he sees a tiny box on top of the closet, he never had noticed it before. He gets a chair and grabs the little box from the top. He opens it and sees the bottle with painkillers and other medications. The shaking of his hands is getting worse and the pill bottle drops out of his hand and lands on the floor. The lid pops open and all the pills spill on the floor.

TK just stands there for a while. Hypnotized by the pills on the floor. He puts the box away and slowly sits down in the floor.

His heart is racing now and he breathes too fast. He doesn’t want to do this but he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t want to burden his father or his friends again. He doesn’t deserve their help.

He picks up one of the pills then two more till he’s got ten of them lying in his open hand. He stares at them. This could end all his pain and could free himself and the others from his sorry ass.

He closes his eyes and opens his mouth. He’s scared.

“TK? Are you there?”

He startled and almost lets the pills fall. Everything stops and he can’t hear right. His breathing is slow all of a sudden and he looks at the pills at his hand again. He can’t see anything else.

There’s voices again and someone walking around in the house. His brain can’t register who it is though. His eyes are never leaving the sight of the pills in his hand.

The voice is getting louder. They must be close to the bedroom.

“TK? Whats- …”

Someone walks into the bedroom and crouches in front of him. They’re not touching him though. He doesn’t know who it is and he can’t make himself to look at the other person.

“TK can you look at me? Please look at me.”

He can’t. His hands feel numb and his mouth is dry. He swallows and it hurts.

“Ok listen, it’s gonna be alright. I’m here now. You’re not alone, you can get through this. You know you don’t want to do this.”

Do what? He doesn’t know what the other person means. He blinks a couple of times to get his focus back. The pills in his hand become clearer and a sob escapes his mouth. He looks up and registers it’s Carlos sitting in front of him. He looks worried and he has tears in his eyes.

“TK can you see me now?”

TK nods but still isn’t able to move his hands.

“Alright I’m going to touch you now, ok? Please don’t be scared. I wanna help you ok? Nothing bad is gonna happen.”

TK follows the other man’s movement with his eyes when he gently puts his fingers over his hands. The skin contact makes him wince.

“It’s alright, it’s gonna be alright.”

Carlos carefully grabs the pills in his hands and puts them away. TK still doesn’t move, his eyes now lingering over his empty hands. The other man gently takes his hands and TK grabs them like his life depends on them. Tears spill into his eyes and his breathing is getting faster when he realizes what almost had happened.

Carlo softly strokes over his knuckles, never letting go of the other man’s hands.

“You with me now?”

TK looks at him and he can finally see him clear. Carlos has tears in his eyes but a confident smile on his face.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hey.” TK blinks at him. “How did you get in here.”

Carlos moves closer, always looking at TK and searching for any signs that the other man wouldn’t want him to come closer. TK still doesn’t move though, his eyes on Carlos face.

“I went to see Michelle and heard the other talk about you and then your dad came over and asked me to check on you cos he still had to sort out the report for today. He was worried about you but he didn’t want to crowd you.”

“Right.” TK swallows hard.

“What happend TK?”

He tries to move his hands back, feeling the guilt rushing through his body. The other man doesn’t let him go though.

“Your dad told me about the kid. It wasn’t your fault TK, it was an accident.”

TK shakes his head hard. “No, it’s my fault the kid got scared and shot.”

“You wanted to help his granddad TK. You came to help. This is not your fault. Please TK you can’t believe that.”

The tears finally fall and he looks at Carlos with so much pain in his eyes.

“It’s my fault and I’m weak and I was hurting and I wanted it to stop and I’ve found my dads pills and and -…”

“Shhhh it’s ok, it’s ok. I promise you it’s not your fault. You didn’t talk the pills, it’s ok.”

Ugly sobs are rattling through TKs body and he feels himself falling apart. He doesn’t know where he begins or ends. Suddenly there’s arms on his back and he can feel soft material against his cheek. He can feel Carlos heartbeat, in a steady rythm agains his ear. He lets go off the other man’s hands and throws his arms around the other man’s body, clapsing them together behind his back. And he cries and cries like forever. The other man never lets him go and rubs soft circles onto his back.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Carlos.”

The other man holds him tighter.

“It’s ok TK, you’ll be alright, we gonna get you help and I’ll be there for you ok? I know you’re strong and you’ll be ok.”

TK buries his head on the other man’s chest and he lets all the the pain and tears out.

“It’s gonna be ok.”


End file.
